You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
