Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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