are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
