I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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