just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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