I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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