I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am one with the molecules
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
