I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
