am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
