my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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