so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
