I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
