Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
