I don't think brook has ever known best
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
