Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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