good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
