I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
