my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
