Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He kissed a someone with a penis
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
