so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
