Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
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just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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