i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Enjoy the penises
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
