I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
