I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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