Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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