a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
