apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
