I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
