You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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