i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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