the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
