Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
