sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
