Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
