I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
