I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
