I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
