Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
