the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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