yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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