Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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