Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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