we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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