Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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