lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
