trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
