If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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