last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
not ubering you a puppy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
