lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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