I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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