I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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