His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I need to stop coming to work sober
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
