the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
