god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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