i permit you to call me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Holy sore nipples Batman
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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