One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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