I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry about my life...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
