I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
