I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
His nipple licking is glorious
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