I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
