I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
