I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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