so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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