Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
