there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize