Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
