So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
