I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize